Five letters to describe Rockstar’s release of the GTA V trailer today: sweet.

This is not a video game blog and does not aspire to be anything of the sort. I play about a video game a year (most of them are Rockstar games), so I don’t pretend to have any sort of special insight to offer. I’m just an excited fan of the franchise who was absolutely blown away by the trailer (if you weren’t,  you’re lying).

First, for fellow fans, a bit about what we learned today. The forthcoming fifth installment of the Grand Theft Auto franchise will be taking place in San Andreas (basically the GTA-universe version of California), specifically in what appears to be a massive version of Los Santos (Los Angeles). 2004′s Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas featured Los Santos, as well as two other towns modeled after San Francisco (San Fierro) and Las Vegas (Las Venturas). Those locales didn’t make an appearance in the trailer, and time will tell if they’re included in the new game. Also, there is a huge mountain and lots of countryside in there.

Three massive, beautifully rendered cities AND some Red Dead- inspired wilderness in one game? *Swoon*

The identity of the man seen in the trailer at :40 has become a topic of great speculation. Many folks believe that he is Tommy Vercetti, the protagonist (if those exist in the GTA universe) of 2002′s Grand Theft Auto: Vice City. In Vice City, Vercetti, voiced by Ray Liotta, was a mafia man released from prison into 1986 Vice City (Miami). Could it be that an older Vercetti will be making a return in GTA 5? 

I hope so. To put it as eloquently as I can, that would be so sweet.

The release date is something of a mystery, but if, by some tragic twist of fate, the Mayans get it right and the world ends before I get to play this game, I will be sorely disappointed.

And I won’t be disappointed because I’ll be missing out on beating old women to death in the most photo-realistic manner ever, I could take that or leave it. It has nothing to do with violence and everything to do with art.

Yes, I can’t wait for this game because San Andreas promises to be the crown jewel of Rockstar’s incredible line-up of endlessly explorable and surprisingly beautiful worlds. Think LA Noire‘s faithfully rendered Los Angeles of the 1940s updated with some sleek glass-and-steel modernity, slimy urban decay, and some social satire. Imagine the expansive world of Red Dead Redemption, situated at the edge of GTA IV’s Liberty City and let a single tear trickle down your cheek.

People love to portray these games as gratuitously violent and, thus, dismiss them as a useless drain on society. The turtle-necked, hawk-browed cable news Momazons will huff and puff at GTA V, to be sure.

But, ladies, I defy you to drive a virtual sports car through the sprawl of Los Santos and not marvel at the expanse and the intricacy of it all.

I defy anyone to mow down a street gang with a sawed-off shotgun and not marvel at the glorious work of art on display: an endless, eternal, gorgeous sandbox where you can live out your wildest fantasies… as long as they involve drugs, guns, strippers, immigrants, and fighter jets.