It’s always interesting to chart the rise of a non-story that explodes into a mushroom cloud of BS. Today, the White House found itself in the middle of a totally contrived abortion scandal thanks to an email titled “Tuesday Tidbits”.

So at 8:17 this morning, the White House Visitors Office sent out the aforementioned tidbits, which looked like this.

After a quick “Happy Birthday” to Willie Mays (who’s still alive, I guess), Ellie from the Visitors Office goes on to tell everybody about the White House’s baby policy. Expectant mothers who are signing up for White House tours must register every guest in their party, including their unborn baby if it will be outside of its mother by the time the tour rolls around.

The policy to designed so that there aren’t any bureaucratic surprises if a family shows up with a little baby who isn’t accounted for on the tour manifest.

Ellie then prompts us to “Keep being awesome!”

This afternoon, somebody at the Washington Free Beacon saw a way to get some mileage out of this email.

“NO BIRTH CERTIFICATE REQUIRED”, the headline ran. ”PRO-CHOICE WHITE HOUSE REQUIRES REGISTRATION OF UNBORN CHILDREN FOR TOURS”

The White House Visitors Office requires that an unborn child—still residing in utero—must be counted as a full human being when its parents register for a White House tour, according to documents obtained by the Washington Free Beacon.

1. The child need not be registered if said child will not be in attendance on the day of the tour.
2. Technically, you don’t really have to count the kid as a full human being if you don’t want to, you just have to tell them if it will be a full human being on the day of the tour.
3. “According to documents obtained by the Washington Free Beacon” is a touch grandiose. 

Then the National Right to Life Committee got ahold of the WFB story. This is what Douglas Johnson, National Right to Life legislative director said.

It is ironic that President Obama’s staff recognizes the existence of unborn babies for purposes of providing security within the White House — yet, there is no indication that President Obama has any problem with the fact that throughout the District of Columbia, abortion is now legal for any reason up to the moment of birth. Notably, the newsletter provides no guidance on what the staff should do if an unborn baby is first registered for security purposes, but then aborted. On May 17, the House Judiciary Constitution Subcommittee plans to hold a hearing on the District of Columbia Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act (H.R. 3803), which would generally prohibit abortion in the sixth month and later in the District. If the President wants to provide for the security of the unborn child immediately outside of the White House gates, as well as inside, he should endorse this bill.”